Emotional Intelligence

Just having lunch with my parents, a flood of different emotions comes up. The past can be a haunting that sneaks in uninvited.  Therefore, a big part of recovery from substance use disorder must be internal work. Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly was a game-changer for dealing with shame. See Book Here. Coupled with a Clinical Counsellor, allowing myself to be seen as not a bad person, but just someone who made poor decisions. This freedom is essential to my ongoing sobriety. Motional intelligence is a learning I am forever grateful for.   Being aware of my feelings and how they interact with my thoughts creates a sense of emotional entity.

Emotionally Sober

To me, being sober means being of a clear mind and not listening to that negative ego that lives in all of us. How did I learn that I was a bad person and didn’t deserve to be happy? From a continued distorted view of myself and the world around me. CI comes from a loving home, hardworking parents, and positive role models. What happened?   I hear this scenario from clients.  Often, yes, of course, many stories are riddled with what most consider “trauma”.

What is Trauma

Trauma is a subtle enemy of all. Creeping in and attaching itself to a distorted perspective, we can be traumatized by insufficient attention from loved ones, a loss of a family member, a tone of voice, and many more actions that are seen as everyday life experiences. Trauma has guidelines; thus, many “addicts” cannot understand why they ended up the way they did. I know for me this was precisely the case. As a non-medical definition, trauma can be any situation that creates a negative impact on one’s well-being. Dealing with trauma is needed to achieve emotional freedom.

Triggers and Emotions

A well-known term for anyone in recovery. The lunch scenario with my parents is an example of a trigger. The difference today is that these do not consume me. Riggers do not create such an emotional turmoil that I feel I need to revert to a substance. Freedom from active addiction is an excellent way to live. Continued self-work and self-compassion are helpful, not to be free from triggers, but to have the emotional freedom to manage them.

What does Cathe’s Family Do

Walking on eggshells is no way to live. Family members of those who are “addicted” need to find a way to communicate. My family sought out various avenues, such as Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, Family Programs, and Clinical Counselling, to help family members separately and, eventually, together with the one struggling, speed up the healing process.